


To Love a Haunted House

by Nightingale_Rising



Series: On My Mind [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Best friend of the year Phichit chulanont, based off a really great poem tbh, yuuri's anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 18:37:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11213889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightingale_Rising/pseuds/Nightingale_Rising
Summary: For Yuuri living with anxiety was like living in a Haunted House.





	To Love a Haunted House

**Author's Note:**

> "When I tell you of the ghosts  
> that live inside my body;  
> When I tell you  
> I have a cemetery in my backyard  
> and in my front yard  
> and in my bedroom;  
> When I tell you  
> trauma is a steep slide  
> you cannot see the bottom of,  
> that my anxiety is a camera  
> that shows everyone I love as bones,  
> when I tell you  
> panic is a stubborn phantom,  
> she will grab hold of me  
> and not let go for months–  
> this is the part of the story  
> when everyone is telling you to run.  
> To love me  
> is to love a haunted house–  
> it’s fun to visit once a year,  
> but no one wants to live there.  
> [-Brenna Twohy - "Anxiety: A Ghost Story"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Rj3mxA_wZA)

Yuuri felt the best way to describe his experience with anxiety was to say it was living in a haunted house. There could be days, weeks even, where not a sound could be heard. Yet, even with those quite days you couldn’t help but notice the blood staining the floor boards or the cemetery in the back yard. For every day spent free of a ghostly chill down your spine two more of finding new skeletons in the closet would follow. Putting up his best front was like putting a new coat of paint on the outside. It could make everything look nice and pretty, until the paint started to peel away and reveal the rotting wood underneath.

  
Each time his family would be there to help with the repairs, never wavering, even when each time felt like one step forward and two steps back. He was never good at making friends, too afraid they would see his demons and run screaming like kids who dared each other to ring the doorbell. Afraid of the people who thought all he needed was some of their love and that is all it would take to exorcise the ghosts from the house. Love, kindness and caring can do a lot but, they're not a cure. All the love in the would not be able to keep the pipes from ratting almost every night. Kindness would bring comfort but it could not completely drown out the howling of the ghouls in the halls. So he pushed everyone away, telling himself it was just to protect them. To keep them from the bits of himself that even he didn’t want to see. It’s better this way he would tell himself. If they stayed here too long they would run screaming.

  
Phichit was the first to prove him wrong. He had walked right past the tomb stones in the yard. Spared no glace to the peeling paint and the broken shutters. He burst into Yuuri’s life with a bright smile and a personality so infections that it was rare for it to fail to make Yuuri smile. Most important of all, he was the first who didn’t let Yuuri push him away.  He refused to accept even the thought that he was better off with out Yuuri in his life. 

  
“Sorry fam, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” He had told Yuuri once.“I’m union you’re stuck with me forever.”

  
Phichit stayed with Yuuri on the good days and on the bad. He came with hot chocolate and blankets and terrible movies. He came with everything he owned and told every ghost and ghoul and demon to learn to make room; because he wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon. Phichit had opened a new chapter in the ghost story of Yuuri's mind. Only for the find time in as long as Yuuri could remember this chapter had more then just scares, it had laughter in it too.

With Phichit he didn't have to feel so afraid of his own mind.

  
Then the Hurricane Viktor ripped its way through. Threatening to pull everything from its very foundation. Unlike Phichit’s soft understanding, Viktor took Yuuri’s breath away in more ways than one.  Viktor came into his life and he turned on every light. He brought flowers into every window. He turned the music up on the days the ghouls would howl the loudest.

  
There would always be bad days. There would always be days curled in the corner gasping for air and trying to calm his racing heart. The ghosts and ghouls and every other thing that weighed him down may still be lurking around every corner but, now they all had to step aside and make room. They had to learn to step aside because Yuuri wasn’t fighting them alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't forget to check out the poem this was inspired by! The Link is in the notes at the beginning  
> If you like you can find me over on tumblr at bardic knowledge 


End file.
